SCOOBY DOO TEOREM

Naše predstave o preteklosti počivajo na obče sprejetih virih. Kritična distanca do/od dogajanja je dobrodošla komponenta razumevanja virov, a ravno subjektova neizbežna moč kreiranja zgodovine (ki večkrat nastopi brez nadzora) je tista, ki mu onemogoči s prstom za veke vekov pokazati na absolutno resnico. Ker smo hkrati nenehni kreatorji in akceptorji, to naredi zgodovino za kolektivni, ves čas vzpostavljajoči se projekt kot npr. človekova kariera, otrokova vzgoja ali (jez)deci vsebine. Brezkončno pojavljanje novih in novih virov (tudi falsificiranih, za katere še zdaleč ni nemogoče, da se ne približajo resnici bolj kot resnični) nadaljnje otežuje zgodovinarjevo željo vpogleda v določen čas in prostor.

Počasi smo začeli sprejemati stališče, da je vsak nosilec podatkov lahko vir in je zato naloga interpreta, da razsodi, kateri podatki kaj pomenijo. Umetnost morda ni najbolj natančen prikaz specifičnega zeitgeista, je pa kakopak zelo iskren. Ker je v ospredju njena estetična, hedonistična komponenta, je toliko bolj zanimivo raziskovati njeno podatkovno bazo, ki plava pod površjem.

Šestdeseta in sedemdeseta res niso obdobje, ki bi ga večina štela v sfero pretekloslovja (z izjemo političnega dogajanja), saj mnogi, ki so to obdobje doživeli, še danes migajo z vsemi štirimi. In redko se kdo želi identificirati kot osebnost iz preteklosti (saj šele, ko se, sprejmemo stališče, da nismo več mladi). Danes temu obdobju še vedno držimo zahodno zrcalo. V njem vidimo promiskuiteto, mlado glasbo Jimija Hendrixa, Pink Floydov in Boba Marleya, revolucijo javnega skozi poulično študentarijo in upor proti vietnamski vojni. Zlizane kavbojke, tetovaže in novo levico s svojo armado izobraženih hipijev. In mi na Balkanu še gibanje neuvrščenih. A nič ne opiše šestdesetih bolje od reka seks, droge in rokenrol.

Podobna generaliziranja so upravičeno podvržena sumu in prav je, da jih znova in znova preverjamo. Poglejmo, kako se swingerska šestdeseta kažejo v eni najznamenitejših risank iz dobe: Scooby Doo, Where Are You! (1969-70). Ekstenzivna raba glasbenega žargona, groovy, buzzed; laično poznavanje igranja različnih inštrumentov, od kitare do bobnov; obiskovanje raznih šolskih plesov in samoorganiziranje partijev na plažah ob nenormalnih urah ter svojevrstni funk komadi[1], ki se pojavijo v drugi sezoni, pokrijejo rokenrol naše formule. Seks v risankah je že dolgo poglavje zase, naj na tem mestu ostanemo pri omembi dejstva, da marsikdo ni prekinil z gledanjem serije tudi po tem, ko je prerasel njen humor in se naveličal scenarija z zamaskiranimi pošastmi. Postavni Arijec klase A, naivna in zapeljiva, 90-60-90, rdečelaska ter obdarjena piflarka v mini krilu imajo včasih nepričakovan, dolgotrajen vpliv na človeka.

Najbolj pa sta se ustvarjalca Joe Ruby in Ken Spears osredotočila na droge oz. na njihovo prvo protagonistko, marihuano. Če so dolgočasni trije liki nastavljeni za seks-simbole, sta glavna akterja tam, da opozarjata na socialni problem prepovedane substance. Lena, paranoična, revna in večno lačna; Shaggy in Scooby sta socialna odpadka s tremi prijatelji in polovico delujočih možganov. Shaggy je v svoji osnovi Lance iz Apocalypse Now, če bi Kmere zamenjali s pošastmi. Nosi vedno isto razvlečeno majico in par hlač iz prejšnjega desetletja ter kozjo bradico, ki je tako neurejena, da v resnici ne vemo, kje se koža konča in začnejo kocine. Kot tipičen klošar je, jasno, najbolj navezan na svojega psa. Scooby je v bistvu Shaggy, ki se je skotil iz psice. Nikjer ni reklo, da se pes in človek po dolgotrajnem bivanju začneta podobno obnašati, držalo bolj kot v tej seriji. Imata podobne poteze povešenega obraza, isti ritem smeha in skupno požrešnost, ki ju muči skozi vseh 25 originalnih epizod serije.

Prva epizoda, prvi kader, v katerem se spoznamo z glavnimi liki: Shaggy in Scooby hodita proti domu. Hu-d-fak sredi noči hodi domov po jebeno grozljivem gozdu?! Jebeno grozljivem gozdu, skozi katerega vodi cesta, kjer Črni vitez premikasti svojega transportnika prof. White-a baj-d-vej. Smo omenili, kako prestrašena sta? Get a car you two! In ne mi s temi newagerskimi, da raje hodite, ker je treba skrbet za postavo. Katero postavo že? Postavo faking okostnjaka? – What a Night for a Knight

Termin lazy bum se jima prilega kot ata na mamo, saj zelo očitno nimata nobenega dela, za prevoz po mestu se prislinita k prijateljem v Mystery Machine in če dejanje ne vključuje hrane, ne bosta premaknila svojih koščenih riti niti za milimeter. Tipična puhača, Harold in Kumar v prvotni verziji. Vsaka epizoda je zgolj mini verzija poti do obroka. Subtilen, a zelo piker način, kako otroke odvaditi od želje, da bi postali ikonični zatripanci. »Don't smoke pot, kids. You'll end up losing all your friends, jobless and hungry. Like, all the time, man.«

Veste tisto, ko ne jeste redno, razdeljeno na obroke in se potem želodcu tako sfuka, da vas začne prepričevati, kako dobra ideja je, če se nažrete vsega, kar prileti v vašo smer? No, to! Shaggy in Scooby sta karakterja na robu preobrazbe v zveri. Primo Levi je nekoč zapisal, da je bil cilj koncentracijskih taborišč uničiti posameznikovo človečnost.[2] S podhranjevanjem so dosegli prav to, saj so žrtve onesposobili za jasno mišljenje. Kar se v resnici ves čas dogaja Shaggu in Scoobu. – Foul Play In Funland

Ne gre za sfaljene prehranske navade, gre za dejansko pomanjkanje kalorij v njunem življenju. Afrika in šit. Vsaka epizoda je spisana po receptu,[3] kjer sta Shaggy in Scooby vedno prva, ki zagledata pošast. Ne gre za pravo pošast, jasno, gre za tipa v kostumu, a kako naj bi naša junaka to vedela? Ali gre za res dobre kostume ali pa, kar je bolj verjetno, sta izstradana do mere, ko jima niti oči ne delujejo več normalno. Pošast je neke vrste kolektivni trip – lahko resno izključimo, da se douchebag quarterback, vroča mačkica, ki jo želi položiti cela šola in joškasta špeglarka ne zadevajo tudi sami? Ko zapišemo tako neposredno, I think not!

»Would you do it for a Scooby snack?« »Of course I would you dumb bitch! You haven't given me anything to eat in a fortnight for Christ's sake!« – Never Ape an Ape Man

In vsi vemo, da se ne smeš tripati na prazen želodec, ker te naravnost odpelje. In prav to se ves čas dogaja našima junakoma. Kdor si je izmislil vic o dveh klošarjih, kjer na vprašanje prvega: »Imaš kaj kruha za golobe?« drugi odgovori z: »Ne, jaz jih kar brez kruha,« je gotovo mislil na Shagga in Scooba. Njuno življenje je kot igra Heroin Hero, a namesto, da bi lovila zmaja, zmaj lovi njiju. Hrana je v resnici edina stvar, zaradi katere sta se pripravljena izpostaviti nevarnosti in v trenutku, ko jima klikerji v možganih sporočijo, da jima ni več potrebno bežati, začneta iskati kaj za pod zob. Poglejte npr. spodnje citate:

Shaggy: »The coast is clear. Come on, Scooby! I think we gave old fuzzyface the slip. How about a snack? You check the refridge!«

Scooby: »Yeah, yeah! Slurp!« – A Gaggle of Galloping Ghosts

Shaggy: »But there's no use of being scared on an empty stomach. Here, have a peanut.« –  Spooky Space Kook

Velma: »I guess haunted bones are one thing Scooby is not scared of.« – A Night of Fright Is No Delight

Pripravljena sta tvegati, celo če ne gre za pravo hrano!:

Shaggy: »Hey, look what I found! Jars of chocolate syrup.«

*Scooby drooling*

Fred: »Chocolate syrup nothing. That's samples of crude oil!« – Mine Your Own Business

*Scooby drinks from a bowl*

Scooby: »Slurp, mmm, yumm, yumm, yumm, yumm, oh, boy! yumm, yumm, yumm, yumm, that's good! Huh?«

Mrs. Cuttler: »You pardon me doin' the wash dearie?« – A Clue for Scooby Doo

Shaggy: »Down the hatch!«

*they drink the beverage*

Both: »Pthu!«

Shaggy: »I should have known! Oil!« – Go Away Ghost Ship

Zakaj le bi bila pripravljena na kocko postaviti svoje življenje in se izpostaviti nevarnosti pošasti, če ne bi bila tako ali tako prepričana, da bosta umrla od izstradanja? Narkomanski svet je krut kot hrt na steroidih, ki trga novorojenega zajčka. Da si lažje predstavljate tektoniko, o kateri govorimo: Shaggy in Scooby si nikoli ne nasprotujeta. Nikoli se zares ne prepirata, nikoli se niti ne pogledata postrani; a daj med njiju en sam samcat Scooby snack in stepla se bosta zanj kot gladiatorja za volčje bradavičke. Entertainment. Ne bi bil prvi primer, da bi opojne substance razdrle prijateljstvo. Se spomnite tistega frenda, ki je res ultra zafukan, ko se ga napije? Vsi ga imamo. In potem en dan ga nimamo več. Pizda ena!

Njuni prepiri pa običajno niso dolgotrajni. Vedno se izkaže, da ima buržoazni del klape s seboj več hrane kot je sprva razvidno. Le skrivajo jo pred Shaggyjem in Scoobyjem. Verjetno jim je jasno, da bi jo pomazala v šusu. Razredni boj per se, meddling kids! – Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Werewolf

Ko je čas, da se naših 5 prijateljev obrne proti zlobcu in mu nastavi past, se trije modrijani odločijo, da lakotnikoma ponudijo neko malenkost za želodec. Tisto doziranje, o katerem je toliko govora, ko je govora o mamilih. Kljub temu, da imajo s seboj celo škatlo pasjih piškotov, jima ponudijo le enega in se nato pogajajo za dva. Dva faking piškota! In ja, tudi Shaggy jih jé. Kaj jé, golta jih! Večkrat na televiziji vidimo nekoga, ki trdi, da je pasja hrana isti šit kot bolonjska omaka in da ni bistvene razlike med konzervo Pedigreja in Kekčevo pašteto. No, ta tip laže. Pasja in človeška hrana imata toliko skupnega, kolikor imata skupnega epileptični delfin in frigidna bogomoljka. Hrana za pse ima okus po hrani za ljudi, ki je šla skozi pasji anus. Klobasa, ja, ampak oblika, to je pa tudi to.

Ko se seksapilni »intelektualci« uprpijo, podkupijo Shaga in Scooba, da opravita delo žive vabe namesto njih. Ni zanimivo, da se jima v trenutku, ko zaužijeta nekaj kalorij ogljikovih hidratov mišljenje spremeni in se navzameta tiste dobre stare logike, ki jima jo je Velma maševala celotno prvo polovico epizode: »There's no such thing as ghosts!« V momentu, ko dobita dovolj energije, da se jima v tek požene tisti majhen kos možganov, ki ga nista skurila z džojnti, jima postane jasno, da je strah votel, okoli ga pa nič ni. Sprejmeta svoji vlogi vabe (včasih še vedno jokavo, a kaj drugega naj pričakujemo od lenuhov, ki morajo za spremembo kaj postoriti?) in se odpravita iskati hudobneže, saj jima je jasno, da so to, kar v resnici so, možje v preoblekah.

Fred: »Well gang, we're almost there.«

Velma. »Isn't it a groovy idea holding a school dance and a hay ride on an old farm?«

Daphne: »I'll say, I can hardly wait to get there.«

Shaggy: »And I can hardly wait to get my hands on the buffet table! Just think like real chocolate covered corn on the cob!« – Jeepers It's the Creeper

Shaggy in Scooby sta izgorela mamilaša, večno lačna, sestradana luzerja, ki živita na socialni podpori svojih edinih treh »prijateljev«. Prototipa džanki-klošarjev, ki prosijo za drobiž na ulicah Kalifornije. Shaggy je tisti starejši tip, ki ga nihče od vrstnikov ne mara, ker so videli, da si je dejansko sam kriv za svoj propad, in mora zato pridobiti družbo mlajših od sebe. Mar ne izgleda, kot da so Fred, Daphne in Velma v zgodnjih dvajsetih, Shaggy pa se približujetridesetici, če že ni presegel? Velma, ki deluje najmlajša, bi lahko bila njegova nečakinja (ne upamo si zapisati, da je poleg neodgovornega odnosa do drog vzdrževal tudi neodgovoren odnos do seksa in jo zaplodil v noči vroče strasti). Še Scooby je verjetno starejši od Velme. Onadva sta oni tip, ki je stalno na tisti lokaciji, kamor zahaja mladina, a nikakor ne sodi tja. Oni tip za šankom, ki se srhljivo nasmiha vsaki najstnici, ki pride naročit Mojito. Oni tip, za katerega se vedno znova vprašate: »Pa kaj model počne v lajfu?« Nič! Ta model je Shaggy. Ne ocenjuj ga. Pojdi do njega in mu daj vedeti, da ga svet še vedno sprejema. Itak celo minuto ne bo dojel, kaj se dogaja in v tem času ste lahko že zunaj lokala.

Shag in Scoob sta to, v kar bodo odrasli otroci, če bodo poprijeli za svoj prvi špinel. Prestrašena lenuha, samska, cmerava in – sicer prijazna in komična – obsojena na večno životarjenje. Brez zdravstvenega zavarovanja in upa na pokojnino. Otroci, ko vam ponudijo dim, bodite kul in recite glasen in odločen: »Ne!«

Zahvaljujoč produkciji Hanna-Barbera nam je lahko jasno, kako se je popularni duh šestdesetih počasi začel umirjati. Stalna kritika (iz)rabe raznih drog je prepričala ljudstvo, da je za srečen život potrebno prenehati s t.i. nevarnim življenjem. Droge so se z glasbenih odrov preselile v domače kleti, seks iz grmovij na internet, rokenrol pa je popolnoma izgubil svojo dušo. Tisti žmoht, ki ga je verjetno dobil iz seksa in drog. Zdi se, kot da je v prihajajočih nekaj letih swingerska generacija vklopila tisto malo množico sivih celic, ki je še ostala nepoškodovana in pustila razumu, da je prevladal za nekaj let. In nato so vse zafukali, ko so prišli na vrsto za politike.

Za dodaten vpogled v Scooby Doo teorem vabljeni v našo librarnico citatov in slikovnega gradiva.

Drisky Bare-ass-ovsky & Naughtius Maximus

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[1] Recipe for My Love (Nowhere to Hyde); I Can Make You Happy (Mystery Mask Mix-Up); Daydreamin' (Jeepers, It's the Creeper); Seven Days a Week (Scooby's Night With a Frozen Fright); Love the World (Haunted House Hang-Up); Tell Me, Tell Me (Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Werewolf).

[2] Primo Levi – I sommersi e i salvati (1986).

[3] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scooby-Doo,_Where_Are_You!. Ne maramo ravno citirati Wikipedie, a originalni pogovor z avtorji je plačljiv, zato pač Wiki.

LIBRARNICA: SCOOBY DOO

Za bralce, ki po prebranem Scooby Doo teoremu še vedno želijo dodatno argumentacijo ali pa enostavno za troo fane, LUD TFF 12 predstavlja sledečo librarnico: Scooby Doo.

* * *

 

Fred: »This place is locked up tighter than a drum.«
Shaggy: »Then like how do we get in?«

Fred: »Easy. Shaggy goes through that window up there.«

Shaggy: »Why me?«

Fred: »Because that's a small window and you're the thinest.« - What a Night for a Knight

What a Night for a Knight

What a Night for a Knjight

* * *

Scooby: »Slurp, mmm, yumm, yumm, yumm, yumm, oh, boy! yumm, yumm, yumm, yumm, that's good! Huh?«

Mrs. Cuttler: »You pardon me doin' the wash dearie?« - A Clue for Scooby Doo

A Clue for Scooby Doo

* * *

Shaggy: »You buzzed?«

Velma: »No, Shaggy, go back to sleep.«

Shaggy: »Sleep nothing! I'm fixing me a Super Shaggy sandwich!« - A Hassle in the Castle

Shaggy: »I'm so scared. I wish I had a ham sandwich to calm my nerves. Well what do you know. A ham sandwich!« - A Hassle in the Castle

* * *

Mine Your Own Business

Daphne: »Maybe it's directions to a buried treasure.«

Shaggy: »Yeah, like a fortune in buried chocolate cheeseburgers.« - Mine Your Own Business

Shaggy: »Hey, look what I found! Jars of chocolate syrup.«

*Scooby drooling*

Fred: »Chocolate syrup nothing. That's samples of crude oil!« - Mine Your Own Business

Mine Your Own Business

* * *

A Decoy for a Dognapper

Scooby: »Food, food, food, food!«

Shaggy: »Food? Good boy, where is it? Lead me to it. What's it smell like? Indian corn? Beef jerky? I'll try anything. Man, those pueblo Indians really knew how to live! We have salami, ham, canned sardines, puding, not to mention … hey! Wait a minute! This isn't indian food!«

Scooby: »Dog food! Scooby food!«

Shaggy: »Scooby food?«

Scooby: »Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!«

Shaggy: »It is dog food! Scooby, we found the dognappers hideout! But I … I don't see any dognappers around so why not fortify ourselves with a groovy little snack?« - A Decoy for a Dognapper

* * *

Daphne: »There's so many groovy things to do.«

Shaggy: »Yeah, like swiming and eating and tennis and eating and riding and eating and eating and … huh?« - What the Hex Is Going On

Shaggy: »Well what do you know, he didn't even invite me!« - What the Hex Is Going On

Shaggy: »Like there's times I'll do anything for a Scooby snack.« - What the Hex Is Going On

What the Hex Is Going On

* * *

Fred: »That's a clue!«
Velma: »Don't eat that clue, Shaggy!«
Shaggy: »Huh, clue?«

Scooby: »Yeah, clue?«

Velma: »See those claw marks? The ape man was eating this sandwich.«

Daphne: »That's odd. Apes don't eat meat.«

Fred: »Maybe this ape man is more than an ape. It's okay, Shaggy. You can eat it.«

Shaggy: »What? Me eat after an ape? I can't do it.«

Scooby: »I will it it.«
*Scooby eats the sandwich* - Never Ape an Ape Man

Shaggy: »Scooby snacks won't work on me this time.«
Daphne: »Would you do it for a Shaggy snack? A little something I whipped up.«

Shaggy: »Huh? A Shaggy snack?«

Daphne: »Yes. It's a pot pie with pizza crust, anchovies, peperone, cherries and all in a chocolate sauce.«

Shaggy: »Ho ho ho ho! I'll do it, I'll do it!« - Never Ape an Ape Man

Shaggy: »Look at all these groovy stuff. Man, we can play Halloween.«

*Shaggy puts on a wig*

Shaggy: »Check this Scooby. Give me liberty or give me pizza pie!« - Never Ape an Ape Man

* * *

Daphne: »Shaggy, you know Scooby doesn't like clams.«

Shaggy: »I like them.They're fun to dig and even more fun to eat.« - Foul Play in Funland

Daphne: »Shaggy, sometimes I thing you'd rather eat pizza pie than solve a mystery.«

Shaggy: »Let's vote on it. Mystery or pizza pie?«
Scooby: »Pizza pie!« - Foul Play in Funland

Shaggy: »What's the matter Scooby? I like to eat too, you know.« - Foul Play in Funland

Foul Play in Funland

* * *

Shaggy: »Say, Scooby, kind of a spooky night, huh?«

Scooby: »Yeah, spooky!«

Shaggy: *Sniff, sniff* »You know, like this pizza is driving me wild! You want to eat it now? Like right this minute?«

Scooby: »Yeah, yeah!«

Shaggy: »Man, this is going to be delicious. After all, we only had two blockbuster pizzas at the pizza palace. That's hardly even a snack!« - The Backstage Rage

Velma: »A brand new 20 dollar bill!«
Fred: »And I'll bet you a doughnut it's a phony.«
Velma: »It sure looks real.«

Shaggy: »Let's change it into a blockbuster pizza!«

Scooby: »Yeah!« - The Backstage Rage

Shaggy: »There's a guy in a black cape running around!«
Scooby: »Yeah, yeah!«
Fred: »He was in that promptor's box! We ought to see what's in there, right Scooby?«
Scooby: »uh-uh! Not me!«

Daphne: »Here's a Scooby snack. No strings attached. Just catch!«

Scooby: »Dirty trick!« - The Backstage Rage

* * *

Velma: »Anybody got a Scooby snack?«

Fred: »I think this calls for a bigger reward. Don't you, Daphne?«

Daphne: »I sure do! Here's a super duper Hero sandwich!«

*Shaggy drools*

Fred: »Okay, Scooby?«

Scooby: »Yeah, yeah!«

Shaggy: »Hold it! Hold it! You forgot! I'm a track-man. I can really run. And fast!«

Scooby: »I'm faster!«

Fred: »Why don't you both go and split the sandwich?«

Scooby: »Good idea!«

Shaggy: »Okay by me!« - Bedlam in the Big Top

* * *

Shaggy: »The coast is clear. Come on, Scooby! I think we gave old fuzzyface the slip. How about a snack? You check the refridge!«

Scooby: »Yeah, yeah! Slurp!« - A Gaggle of Galloping Ghosts

Scooby: »Pickaboo! Uh, it's locked! Hello!«

Shaggy: »Oh, open the door. After all what could be in the pantry?«

Scooby: »Gulp! The big one!« - A Gaggle of Galloping Ghosts

Daphne: »There it is! The vampire bat!«

Shaggy: »Save my sandwich!«

Fred: »It's only a stuffed bat on a wire you guys!«

Shaggy: »Huh? Scooby, I always knew you were a little batty!« - A Gaggle of Galloping Ghosts

* * *

Shaggy: »How much?«

Chef: »That'll be a buck fifty.«

Shaggy: »Here you are. A dollar fifty for a job well done!«

Chef: »What kind of kooky fifty cent piece is this?« - Scooby Doo and a Mummy Too

Scooby Doo and a Mummy Too

Velma: »This test will tell us just how old that tape really is.«

Shaggy: »Well come on like hurry! This place makes me so nervous, all I can think of is food!«

Scooby: »Me too!« - Scooby Doo and a Mummy Too

Daphne: »Then that creep must have Scooby!«

Fred: »We better find him, before he ends up like the professor and doctor Najib.«

Velma and Shaggy: »Doctor Najib!?«

Daphne: »We found him, solid as a rock!«

Shaggy: »Poor Scooby!«

*they find a stone replica of Scooby*

Shaggy: »Scooby! Oh, wow, too late! He's gone to that big boneyard in the sky! Buhuhu, oh my old pall! I'll never see his hungry face again! Buhuhu!« - Scooby Doo and a Mummy Too

* * *

Scooby: »Hickup!«

Shaggy: »What's with Scooby?«

Scooby: »Hickup!«

Velma: »Oh, no, Scooby ate some jumpin' beans by mistake!« - Which Witch is Which

Shaggy: »Hey, Scoob, I think we fooled him!«

Scooby: »Yeah, hee hee hee hee, dumb zombie!«

Shaggy: »Yeah, dumb zombie! Hee hee hee!«

Zombie: »Ungh! Ungh!«

Scooby: »Hmm … yippe! Shaggy! Help!«

Shaggy: »Zoiks! He's got Scooby!«

Zombie: »Muahahahaha!«

Scooby: »Help! Help!«

Shaggy: »Hang on, Scoob! Here's a Scooby snack to the rescue!«

*Scooby catches s Scooby snack*

Scooby: »Scooby Doo! Let go!« 
Zombie: »Huh?« - Which Witch is Which
 

Which Witch is Which

* * *

Velma: »C. L. Magnus, owner of Shipping line, claims it's the ghost of Redbeard the pirate seeking revenge.«

Shaggy: »Like I'm sure glad he's not seeking my super duper sandwich!«

Scooby: »Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!«

Velma: »Lucky for him. He'd probably get indigestion!« - Go Away Ghost Ship

Shaggy: »Well, the sea water is boiling. I wonder what ghosts like in their stew, Scoob.«

Scooby: »Chains?«

Shaggy: »Chains! Hey, yeah, ghosts like chains and umm … oh, yeah, some ashes from the stove! You know this could be real good!«

Scooby: »Yeah, yeah!«

Shaggy: »Now, what else?«

Scooby: »Cob webs?«

Shaggy: »Cob webs! Mhm, delightful! Why didn't I think of that? Wow, now, did we forget anything?«

Scooby: »Soap?«

Shaggy: »Soap? I'd hardly use it myself but why not! I sure hope old Redbeard likes ghost pirate stew!«

Scooby: »Yeah!« - Go Away Ghost Ship

Shaggy: »Zoiks! It's the gay blade of the ghost set again! Yoiks! He's trying to shishkebab us, Scoob!«

Scooby: »Look, look, look, look, look! Scooby snacks!«

Shaggy: »Scooby snacks! Boxes of 'em!«

*they eat the Scooby snacks*

Scooby: »Scooby Doo!«

Shaggy: »If I only had a sword! This nightstick should do it. En guarde! Wow, it's liverwurst!«

Scooby: »Liverwurst? Slurp! Delicious!« - Go Away Ghost Ship

Shaggy: »Down the hatch!«

*they drink the beverage*

Both: »Pthu!«

Shaggy: »I should have known! Oil!« - Go Away Ghost Ship

Go Away Ghost Ship

* * *

Shaggy: »You sure nobody wants a sandwich?«

Scooby: »I do!«

Fred: »No thanks. Not one of your jaw-stretcher specials!«

Scooby: »Mmm … «

Shaggy: »Let's see now. More bologni … «

Scooby: »Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!«

Shaggy: » … and some more meatloaf … «

Scooby: »Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!«

Shaggy: » … and a slug of double dutch chocolate syrup!«

Scooby: »Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!« - Spooky Space Kook

Shaggy: »But there's no use of being scared on an empty stomach. Here, have a peanut.« - Spooky Space Kook

Shaggy: »Hey, Scooby, this isn't a mess hall, it's a kitchen! And a kitchen means food!« - Spooky Space Kook

* * *

*Scooby shivering*

Fred: »Relax, Scooby, we'll spend the night with you! Now let's hit the sack.«

Shaggy: »First, I'm going to hit the old watch sack with this Shaggy super sandwich!« - A Night of Fright Is No Delight

Fred: »Hey, let me see that. There's some writing on the cover.«

Velma: »Feed the organ and watch the floor.«

Shaggy: »If anyone is going to get fed around here, it's going to be me.«

Scooby: »Me too!« - A Night for a Fright Is No Delight

Shaggy: »Scooby! Wake up! Wake up! Come on, Scoob! Will you wake up for a Scooby snack? Here, Scoob, hurry!« - A Night for a Fright Is No Delight

Velma: »I guess haunted bones are one thing Scooby is not scared of.« - A Night of Fright Is No Delight

* * *

That's Snow Ghost

Fred: »You all set, Scooby?«

Scooby: »Yeah, yeah, yeah!«

Fred: »Okay, when we lure the ghost past here, you take the lid off the bucket and dump the water on him!«

Velma: »Then he'll freeze into a block of ice.«

Scooby: »Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!«

Shaggy: »And like just to make sure you don't miss, here's a couple of Scooby snacks.« - That's Snow Ghost

* * *

Waiter: »How was the magic show at the high-school tonight, Fredie?«

Fred: »Terrific!«

Velma: »And so are these double fudge sundays!«

Shaggy: »With a pickle on top!« - Nowhere to Hyde

Shaggy: »If you don't mind, I'll stay right here and guard this little delicious bowl of fruit.«

Daphne: »Guard it?«

Shaggy: »Sure! What safer place than in my stomach?« - Nowhere to Hyde

Nowhere to Hyde

* * *

Velma: »Come on, you clowns, let's get something to eat.«

Shaggy: »Food. My favorite hobby.«

Scooby: »Mine too!« - Mystery Mask Mix-up

Velma: »Maybe Scooby can sniff out her trail?«

*Scooby sniffing*

Shaggy: »It's no use. All he can smell is fresh fish.« - Mystery Mask Mix-up

Shaggy: »You know all this excitement has made me hungry!«

Scooby: »Me too.«

Velma: »Well fellows, I just happen to have one Scooby snack with me. But you'll have to jump for it.« - Mystery Mask Mix-up

* * *

Fred: »Well gang, we're almost there.«

Velma. »Isn't it a groovy idea holding a school dance and a hay ride on an old farm?«

Daphne: »I'll say, I can hardly wait to get there.«

Shaggy: »And I can hardly wait to get my hands on the buffet table! Just think like real chocolate covered corn on the cob!« - Jeepers It's the Creeper

Velma: »Yeah, that's a good idea. Let's go!«

Shaggy: »Scooby and I will head up the cleaning comitee.«

Scooby: »Gulp! We will?«

Shaggy: »Like clean up the food that is!« - Jeepers It's the Creeper

Shaggy: »C c c. Like what a shame. The planks have all been rolled up for the night. Well, back to the old Malt shop!«

Fred: »Not so fast Shaggy, Scooby can climb across the ropes and unroll the planks for us. Can't you, Scoob?«

Scooby: »Uh-uhn!«

Fred: »Not even for a Scooby snack?«

Scooby: »Hmm … yeah, yeah, yeah!«

Fred: »It's a deal!« - Jeepers It's the Creeper

Hermit: »Go on, take a taste, I insist!«

*Shaggy tastes the stew*

Hermit: »You like?«

Shaggy: »Yuck! What is it?«

Hermit: »He he he he he, it's the speciality of the cave. Squirel stew with pickled bat wings and crab grass root! Here have some more.« - Jeepers It's the Creeper

* * *

Fred: »Hey Shag, how you doing with the surf fishing?«

Shaggy: »Not even a nibble. Scooby, have you had any luck yet?«

Scooby: »You bet!«

Shaggy: »Hot dogs?« - Scooby's Night With a Frozen Fright

Fred: »Boy, was that good!«

Daphne: »Mmm, you bet!«
Shaggy: »Isn't there anything more to eat?«

Velma: »Just two slices of bread and an old ice cube.«

Shaggy: »I'll take it!« - Scooby's Night With a Frozen Fright

Velma: »Somebody better think of something fast.«

Shaggy: »Here's a Scooby snack, Scoob! Think of something!« - Scooby's Night With a Frozen Fright

* * *

Velma and Daphne: »Right!«
Shaggy: »The left.«

Scooby: »The left.«

Fred: »It seems we have ourselves a tie vote!«

Shaggy: »Let's flip a slice of bologni to the side.«

Daphne: »What?«

Shaggy: »Heads, we go to the right and I eat it, tails, we go to the left and I eat it.«

Velma: »How can you have heads and tails on a slice of bologni?«

Shaggy: »Heads is the mustard side, tails is plain.« - The Haunted House Hang-Up

Velma: »Somebody did it to deliberately scare us.«

Daphne: »And they did a pretty good job too.«

Shaggy: »A Scooby snack will bring him around. Scooby!«

*the seemingly unconscious Scooby eats a Scooby snack*

Shaggy: »He's going to be dificult I see.«

*Scooby eats another Scooby snack*

Scooby: »Ahh, hee hee hee hee hee!« - The Haunted House Hang-Up

Daphne: »Oh, thank goodness it's you!«

Shaggy: »Thank goodness it's you! With food! My stomach is emptier than a piggy bank on a day after christmas!« - The Haunted House Hang-Up

Stillwall: »How can I ever thank you young people?«

Shaggy. »Just point us to the nearest pizza parlour before Scoob and I colapse from starvation.« - The Haunted House Hang-Up

* * *

A Tiki Scare Is No Fair

Shaggy: »Oh, who wants to find an old haunted village?«

Scooby: »Not us!«

Fred: »Oh, yes you do.«

Shaggy: »Like no way! Besides those tracks stop at the jungle.«

Daphne: »We can follow them in the jungle thanks to Scooby's keen tracking nose.«

Scooby: »Who, me? Oh, no!«

Fred: »Too bad. This Scooby snack smells delicious.« 

Shaggy: »Scooby snack? E he he!«

*Shaggy starts barking* - A Tiki Scare Is No Fair

A Tiki Scare Is No Fair

* * *

*Scooby's tent closes up, with his head inside*

Velma: »Come and get it, you guys!«

Shaggy: »Chow time, pal, see you later!«

Scooby: »Food?«

Shaggy: »There's nothing I like better than food! Unless it's more food!« - Who's Afraid of a Big Bad Werewolf

* * *

Don't Fool With a Phantom

Don't Fool With a Phantom

Velma: »I don't get it, the door is locked.«

Shaggy: »Yeah, and the Mystery machine is hear. Let's split up.«

Velma: »No, our friends need us. We'll have to boost Scooby through a window to let us in.«

Scooby: »Uh-uhn! Not me.«

Shaggy: »Like nothing could get him into that creepy place!«

Velma: »Not even a Scooby snack?«

Shaggy: »Well almost nothing. Let's find a window, Scoob.«

Scooby: »Scooby Doo!« - Don't Fool With a Phantom

Fred: »Look! The wax phantom display!«

Velma: »But no wax phantom.«

Daphne: »That's cause he's looking for us.«

Fred: »Well then let's us look for him.«

Shaggy: »Like there's something I rather look for, you all go on.«

*they split*

Shaggy: »Ah, food!« - Don't Fool With a Phantom